Parent’s secrets

My dad has secrets. From me, you and everyone. Forever. His job at MI6 demanded it. But his life outside of his work at MI6 is less of a secret.

My Dad in a nutshell…

He has been a military policeman in Malaya, a police inspector in Zambia, a bobby on the beat in the UK, a business owner in South Africa, and a private detective. He is a published author and a founder of a national security association. He has always been happiest on a boat and trying his hand at fishing. He has made mistakes as well as enjoyed success, and has been, in his own words, “lucky”.

Time is of the essence…

I realise that who he was and what he has become is more important to me as he has reached ‘old age’ and I have moved away – no longer just down the road. The separation in time and space has caused me to reflect on how much and how little I know about his life.

Getting into the details…

So, I have deliberately begun to accumulate facts about his life. After reading his unfinished autobiography I interviewed him and filmed us so that I didn’t have to take more than occasional notes as he was talking. I prompted him with questions I had about times and people I didn’t know much about – after a few minutes I didn’t have to interrupt very often, as he enjoyed talking about his life! And I have continued the process, writing things down as I remember them, and adding moments to his story as often as I can.

Revealing the man behind the story…

I have realized that his character has been revealed in this process: independent, yet social (molded perhaps from 20 years in the military and police forces); self aware and generous (he has seen a lot of good and bad in people as an officer on 3 continents); an early adopter (he had one of the first Mini Coopers in Africa!); and strong willed (as he would say, “often wrong, but never in doubt”).
Many of these insights came from reviewing the places he had been, the various roles he had at work and in the family, and the people he influenced in the course of his life. Capturing his memories and surfacing the details behind the few photographs I have has been an invaluable exercise, to me and to his descendants.

My dad has secrets, but the moments and memories that make him who he is are not a secret!